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The Great Dewey Cox ladies and gentlemen....

Dewey Cox on Monday Night Football - watch more funny videos

Jason B and Eric H - The Klan of Fantasy Fooball?

Some disturbing responses from these two clowns to my thread about Mike Vick. Check it out in the FFOC.com forum on the "Fantasy/NFL Talk" message board, thread titled "Mike Vick Reinstated". Eric seems to think 2 years wasn't enough for Vick...they should have HUNG HIM! To be fair, Eric said he's not in favor of hanging Vick specifically....he just favors hangings in general without a trial or due process. And in the same breath actually preached to ME about morals!

A quote from Eric H: "I likes the good ole days, screw a jury, screw an appeals process, if your caught in the act, by more than one witness, somebody go get the rope, it doesn't cost alot for rope, and you can reuse it over and over."

Eric has insisted nothing he said is racist and asked me to remove this post from my blog. My response to that is 'don't put it in writing in a public forum if you don't stand by it'. What an idiot! lol I encourage you to all read the ffoc thread for yourselves and give me your comments.

UPDATE: Now Eric says the only way to convince a lawyer is with a good kick in the teeth. He also said he's going to TELL ON ME!! HAHA Another quote from Eric H:

"If you dont remove the post in your blog ,i will have no choice but to go right the boss,I will have to talk with Stan,about you."

The H is GLOBAL now padna. Nobody has me on a leash. It's funny how a guy who insists he said nothing wrong seems so nervous about what he said!

FantasyNation.com Mock Draft

Here is the draft order for the Fantasynation.com Mock draft. Giselle Alba aka MaMaLikeSports has already drafted Forte with the first pick. Gutsy pick with the #1 spot but you can't find an RB who's much more consistant...lots of carries plus he led the team last year in receptions. The arrival of Cutler should help open things up. This is a slow draft where each player has no time limit in making player selections. The draft can be followed at:

http://www.fantasynation.com/mockffoc101

1. Giselle A.
2. Aaron W.
3. Ken G.
4. Joe H.
5. Derek S.
6. The HELLMUTH of Fantasy Football
7. Zebb K.
8. Anthony R.
9. Dan Y.
10. Mike J.

So-crates Theme Song

To my challenger in the ffoc....this is your theme song:

"I Suck At Fantasy Football" Music Video - watch more funny videos

"I'll Make Ya Famous" - FantasyNation.com Mock Draft

FFOC.com, fantasynation.com, and fantasyguru.com are joining forces and the Fantasy Brat is along for the ride. My blog will soon be featured on Fantasynation.com (My screen name there is "FFOCtheHELLMUTHofFantasyFootball"). Also, I have been invited to participate in a Mock draft which will include 5 FFOC bloggers, 3 FFOC forum regulars, a Fantasynation rep, and a Fantasyguru rep. None can hang with The H!

The Mock will be published soon at fantasynation.com and fantasyguru.com.

Slow Motion is GREAT!

Get these girls some Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader uniforms....enjoy!

Seat girls - RJ41 Productions from RJ41 on Vimeo.

Some Say The HELLMUTHofFF Has A Big Mouth But Check THIS Out!

Nothing about football, but that is a beer can!!!!!

McNair's Blood-Alcohol Level

Why the HELL is it making headlines that Steve McNair's blood alcohol level was twice the legal DRIVING limit when he was shot while asleep on his couch?? The headline I saw said "McNair's Blood Alcohol Was Twice Limit". What limit?? There is no limit! He was not driving. There's no evidence that he HAD been driving. As far as I know there is no legal limit on your blood alcohol level if you're sitting on your couch at home! And my guess is at least half of the people over 17 years old in this country went to sleep with a buzz on the 4th of July. I know I did! They could also write a headline saying "McNair's Blood Alcohol Was 20 Times the Limit!" and then half way through the article mention it was 20 times the legal limit for airline pilots.....but GREAT HEADLINE! It's Ridiculous! The story also says Sahel Kazemi, the girl who shot him, had "trace" amounts of marijuana in her system. Since they don't mention any trace in McNair's system I read that to mean he was clean....but of course they don't point that out in the article. What a blatant attempt to smear McNair and make a story out of nothing to grab headlines! There is no "legal limit" that applies to McNair's death while sleeping on his couch so leave it alone and don't make a headline out of it. Have some respect for the man and his friends and family media people!

Does That Face Come In Men's?

After my Mike Vick rant I thought I'd lighten things up. This is pretty light.....

Mike Vick on the Loose!

Michael Vick was released from prison today. I have said it before and I will say it again. Vick got SCREWED! And I honestly can't figure out why. I happen to be a dog lover...I have 3 dogs...INDOOR dogs ranging from 75lbs down to about 35lbs....not girly little purse dogs...I have DOGS!! Cooter, Shelbie, and Daisy (Crazy Cooter and Daisy Duke for the Hazzard folks out there). You know I love these animals if I let them stink up my house and throw up on my carpet. I'm absolutely opposed to dog fighting. BUT I can recognize that most people in our society enjoy watching the toughest of the tough do battle in varying degrees....whether it's NFL football, UFC fighting, boxing.....or dogfighting....people like to watch brutality. Personally I like football and can do without the other bloodsports other than an occasional boxing title fight (I'm a lover not a fighter!). My wife thinks UFC is barbaric and won't watch it and I don't care for it much either....yet some people take the kids to see fights and think it's fine. We all have a right to differ in opinion in this country. So Mike Vick had a hand in killing some dogs. I think it's pretty disgusting and once that info was made public most people agreed. The guy lost endorsement deals, his reputation suffered.....the "free market" took care of that without the expense of prosecution and prison time.

What interest was served by locking Vick up? How much did the trial and imprisonment and media circus cost taxpayers and what purpose was ultimately served? Vick, as far as I know, never hurt anyone and did a lot to help the community before the dogfighting incident. I remember hearing a story about Vick pulling up on a street corner in his old hood and giving stuff away. Can he do that now? Instead he's struggling through bankruptcy. His creditors pay the price and he has no means of helping anyone. Only the lawyers came out smelling like roses. All that fame and fortune squandered just so the PETA people could flex their muscles. It's stupid. I would have liked to see Vick keep playing, with some of his NFL salary going straight toward the public good and maybe an anti-dogfighting campaign.

What would happen to Brett Favre if we found out he and some of his backwoods buddies hold cockfights one a month? You think he would ever see a day inside a jail cell? I doubt it. Is it different because it's "man's best friend"? Some people hate dogs and have pet chickens they love dearly. It's cold to say it but, in the eyes of the law, I think a dog is no different from a horse or a cow or a chicken. It's property. Once that property has served its purpose, an owner is LEGALLY free to dispose of it however he wants....let the free market, the media, and public opinion take care of the rest.

Add the fact that Donte Stallworth was recently sentenced to 90 days in jail for drinking and driving and hitting a pedestrian and KILLING A HUMAN BEING! 90 DAYS!! What is going on in this country! Somebody hates Mike Vick. That guy got SCREWED!

I hope Vick comes back and is good again, but I doubt it. Let's see how many people jump on the Vick bandwagon in fantasy football. EVERYONE assumes Brady is still worth a first round pick after a year and a half out of football. How much did Vick miss....2 years? And Vick didn't even have an injury. Good luck Michael Vick!

1st Tier 2 Draft - HELLMUTHofFF1

Look out for this one! I decided to go for Brees with my first pick even though MJD was still there and I like him a lot. I thought the hands-down best QB option this year was a safe way to go. Once I took Brees my plan was to go QB/WR/WR/RB....but then Palmer was there in the 4th round so the plan changed. I hope he's back to his old form this year and I might have 2 top 5 QBs in my lineup. That left me taking my first RB in the 5th round...McFadden. Oakland doesn't do much well but they can run the ball OK and I hope McFadden has a breakout year. At first glance none of my RBs jump out as studs but all 6 are young and have great upside. 5 of the 6 came out of the 2008 NFL draft (1 in 2007)....4 in the 1st round. I only need 2 or 3 to shine and this team is smokin hot!

HELLMUTHofFF1

QB Drew Brees NO
RB Darren McFadden OAK
RB Jonathan Stewart CAR
WR Andre Johnson HOU
WR Greg Jennings GB
WR Eddie Royal DEN
TE Antonio Gates SD
OP Carson Palmer CIN
K Rob Bironas TEN
TDSP Philadelphia Eagles PHI

Bench Felix Jones DAL
Bench Ray Rice BAL
Bench Rashard Mendenhall PIT
Bench Ahmad Bradshaw NYG
Bench New York Jets NYJ
Bench Kevin Boss NYG
Bench Miles Austin DAL
Bench Kris Brown HOU
Bench Brady Quinn CLE
Bench Devin Thomas WAS

Fantasy Football Will Make You Go Blind

Looking forward to my first Tier 2 draft tomorrow night from the #4 spot. Still debating who to go after in round 1 but I like the 4 spot. Last year I was #3 and landed Adrian Peterson....doubt that will happen again. Turner? MJD? Fitz? Brees? Decisions decisions. I only know of one player from the ffoc forum drafting with me so I hope I landed in a league with some chumps!

Too much fantasy football will make you go blind.....

My Latest Challenger - Socrates

Anthony R. aka Socrates aka Resino is my latest challenger....bragging rights only and hopefully some good trash talk between our blogs. We are both in Q league 11...Socrates 09 vs. HELLMUTHofFF2Q....and also in league 83...Socrates 5 vs. HELLMUTHofFF4Q. I might be screwed on the first team...my first draft of the year and no QB till round 9. I'll take the challenge. This is a week 1-10 contest for winner of Q league 11 and 83 in week 10, or highest rank after week 9. In the event of a tie it's total points. If he wins one league and I win the other the tie-breaker is total points for both teams.

The link to Anthony's blog is:

http://resinokingoffantasyfootball.com/

The Wager #2 - Ronny M.

Ronnie M., team name "Bolts", on 7/15/09 challenged the Great HELLMUTHofFF to a $100 wager that his team beats mine in league #26. This wager is for week 1-10 only....It will be cool if we can face off week 10. The team he faces is HELLMUTHofFF3. I feel like that's one of my best teams, but his is good no doubt. We face eachother week 9 when his #2 and #3 WRs, Braylon and Evans, have a bye week. My team has no byes....Ocho, Moore, Breaston vs. Johnson, Jennings, Smith...I think I got him week 9...could make for a great final regular season matchup!

BOLTS

Round 1 : RB Michael Turner
Round 2 : QB Aaron Rodgers
Round 3 : RB Marion Barber
Round 4 : QB Matt Ryan
Round 5 : RB Knowshon Moreno
Round 6 : WR Chad Ochocinco
Round 7 : WR Braylon Edwards
Round 8 : RB Thomas Jones
Round 9 : WR Lee Evans
Round 10 : WR Lance Moore
Round 11 : TE Chris Cooley
Round 12 : RB LeSean McCoy
Round 13 : TDSP San Diego Chargers
Round 14 : WR Steve Breaston
Round 15 : WR Miles Austin
Round 16 : RB Jerious Norwood
Round 17 : QB Chad Pennington
Round 18 : TDSP Washington Redskins
Round 19 : K Jason Elam
Round 20 : K Shayne Graham

(HELLMUTHofFF3 can be seen in a previous post)

The Great H

This is EXACTLY how I envision my entrance to the FFOC Main Event in Vegas on December 28th....

Daddy's 17th Round Pick Just Got Relevant - Down Goes Mason

That's right ladies...Derrick Mason, the leading WR for the Ravens last year with 80 catches announced his retirement today. It's not yet official but if you read his quotes he sounds convinced. This isn't Favre we're talking about. That means my 17th round pick, Mark Clayton, just became the top receiver on the team. (Although there are already rumors the Ravens may pursue Bolden now) I think Clayton was going to be good anyway....now as it stands he's at LEAST a very desirable #3 WR and possibly a solid #2. I have Clayton on 2 teams including my latest Tier team, and Mason is nowhere on my rosters. In the words of the great Phil Hellmuth...."I can dodge bullets!". My other team with Clayton is the first Q team I drafted this year where my starting 3 are elite (Fitz, Jennings, Ocho) but all I have on the bench at WR is Clayton and Maclin...so Mason's retirement could be a nice boost for that bench. We might see a bump in Ray Rice's numbers too as the best receiving threat out of the backfield for the Ravens...33 catches last year as a rookie in 13 games. Team HELLMUTHofFF3 needs a little luck to go its way at RB and just got significantly better overall. Look out for Demitrius. Who said pre-pre-season fantasy football is no fun??!

She said it was the best day ever.....

...How did she know I would have such a good draft a few hours later??

How Sweet It Is! Team HELLMUTHofFF3

The 2nd "Tier" team I've drafted so far....looks damn good if McNabb can stay healthy. Went heavy on WRs early and landed 3 possible top-5 WRs. And still pretty solid at RB. I like Bush more than most and Kevin Smith is a solid workhorse back. I don't see Smith doing any worse than last year when the Lions went 0-16 and he had 1200+ total yards and 8 TDs. LenDale in the 9th was pretty nice...the guy had 15 TDs last year and I think the rivalry with Chris Johnson has him motivated. Rice could take the leading role in a run-heavy Baltimore offense. And Hightower should continue to get the TD work in a great offense....nice value in the 16th. Orton is not as good as Cutler but that Denver Defense sucks...hopefully that means some shootouts. I hope Mashall sticks around. Both Orton and Campbell will have 500+ pass attempts this year.

HELLMUTHofFF3

Round 1: Andre Johnson
Round 2: Greg Jennings
Round 3: Donovan McNabb
Round 4: Steve Smith
Round 5: Kevin Smith
Round 6: Reggie Bush
Round 7: Kyle Orton
Round 8: Dallas Clark
Round 9: LenDale White
Round 10: Ray Rice
Round 11: Michael Crabtree
Round 12: Baltimore Ravens
Round 13: Jason Campbell
Round 14: Kevin Boss
Round 15: Dallas Cowboys
Round 16: Tim Hightower
Round 17: Mark Clayton
Round 18: Kris Brown
Round 19: Ryan Longwell
Round 20: Brian Robiskie

When Life Gets You Down

This captures what I was like after week 11 last year.....then progresses into the hope of a new season....and finally at the end of the video is a preview of me on December 28, 2009.

My latest Q draft looks GOOD!

I wasn't going to bother posting Q teams here but this one is too good not to show off! Probably the best 3 QBs I've drafted so far. Love my top two WRs with great options at #3. Three solid RBs and Bradshaw and Graham should be pretty good. Good Defenses. Solid Kickers. I have outdone myself.

HELLMUTHofFF5Q

Round 1 : WR Andre Johnson
Round 2 : WR Calvin Johnson
Round 3 : QB Tony Romo
Round 4 : RB Marion Barber
Round 5 : QB Carson Palmer
Round 6 : RB Darren McFadden
Round 7 : RB Marshawn Lynch
Round 8 : WR Eddie Royal
Round 9 : QB Kyle Orton
Round 10 : TE Dustin Keller
Round 11 : WR Kevin Walter
Round 12 : RB Ahmad Bradshaw
Round 13 : TE Kevin Boss
Round 14 : WR Steve Breaston
Round 15 : RB Earnest Graham
Round 16 : TDSP Arizona Cardinals
Round 17 : K Rob Bironas
Round 18 : TDSP Miami Dolphins
Round 19 : WR Percy Harvin
Round 20 : K Shayne Graham

Tonight We Draft!

Decided to go ahead and jump in a Q league tonight at 10:00 with my last $10. I'm drafting my 2nd Tier 1 team Saturday night so I thought another trial run might be good. Anyone interested come join.

Drafting Brady first round is crazy

Why does everyone just assume Brady will be back to '07 form this year? Wishful thinking? It is CRAZY to draft him as high as his ADP and especially if Brees is still on the board. He hasn't played football in a year and a half. He's 32 years old. Physically he has likely lost a step. Mentally he has likely lost a step. Did anyone see Manning in his first few games coming off knee surgery? He looked like he was playing scared. I expect the same from Brady. Football is a young man's game and even pretty-boy-Brady ages like the rest of us. Moss is 32, Galloway is 38, Fred Taylor is 33. I don't see another year even close to '07. I'm not saying Brady won't have a good year....maybe even great....I'm just sayin I don't want to make assumptions in Round 1.

If you ever lied to a girl.....

If you have ever lied to a girl the Air McNair murder-suicide has got to really make you stop and think. There are some crazy ones out there.

Stan The Man

I enjoyed my phone conversation with Stan The Man from ffoc last night about this new "Owner's Blog" and I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about the opportunity. Stan's pretty sure I'm going to win it all this year too (He didn't actually come out and say that but I could hear it in his voice! lol) No really...It was pretty cool to hear about all the interest in the FFOC from well known former NFL players and celebs. I won't mention any names because I'm not sure if Stan told me that in confidence, but this thing is taking off! The word for now is that Jerry Rice will be back as Commish this year. You're living the dream Stan!

A Special Thanks to Jeff A.

I gotta give credit where credit is due.....A special thanks to Jeff A., commish of my Yahoo league 2 years ago who got so fed up with my lengthy posts and predictions that he banned me from the message board for a week and inspired me to leave that league in search of greener pastures. Thus began the great FFOC adventure...Thanks padna!

The Wager - Chris V.

Chris V. in the ffoc forums on 7/6/09 posed a wager that his best team would win more $ than my best team. In the event of a tie it's his team with the most total points vs my team with the most total points:

"Let's keep it simple.
Winner is the person who wins the most money based on one team.
Tiebreaker is total points by a team, any team."

The loser has to send the winner a crisp $10 bill. This dude has no idea who he's dealing with. If not for luck I would win every time!

Team HELLMUTHofFF4

My first Tier-team draft out of the #3 hole. It has some gambles, similar to last year when I "gambled" on Cutler and Rivers and everyone said my QBs could never do it. This year it pains me to say it as a Cowboys fan, but I like Campbell more than most. It's his first year to play in the same offense from the previous year, he had over 500 pass attempts last year (with only 6 INTs and a career best completion %), and finished the year with about the same fantasy value as Matt Ryan and Big Ben.....yes I was surprised too. If he improves he could be a nice surprise as my #3 QB....and Moss's numbers should improve along with him. If that happens this team is pretty hot ladies and gents!


HELLMUTHofFF4

Round 1: Michael Turner
Round 2: Greg Jennings
Round 3: Brandon Jacobs
Round 4: Kevin Smith
Round 5: Matt Ryan
Round 6: Wes Welker
Round 7: Santonio Holmes
Round 8: Santana Moss
Round 9: Matt Hasselbeck
Round 10: Michael Crabtree
Round 11: Owen Daniels
Round 12: New York Jets
Round 13: Jason Campbell
Round 14: Ahmad Bradshaw
Round 15: Dustin Keller
Round 16: Arizona Cardinals
Round 17: Laurence Maroney
Round 18: Rob Bironas
Round 19: Mason Crosby
Round 20: Brian Robiskie

Historic Event...My first blog post

Yes it's official. The HELLMUTHofFF has gone global. I have to take my hat off to the REAL Phil Hellmuth....the greatest tournament poker player of all time. I plan to take my first "bracelet" this year in Vegas on December 28. Last year I took a bad beat in week 11 with my one and only team in the FFOC.com million dollar fantasy open challenge.....a team that would have easily made the cut every subsequent week and finished in 2nd place in the Vegas bracket for $100K. And yes hold true to form as the Fantasy Football Brat and throw a tirade in my living room after week 11. It wasn't meant to be. Instead I finished 8th in the First and Goal for a pitiful $250....with a point total that I think was 9th overall out of 6,660 teams. Congrats to Schroeder and the other Vegas 15. I refuse to call you the "Elite" 15 because I was not there!

But it's a new year and I'm back with a vengeance. And I have made it my mission to win it this year without spending a dime of my money. (Sorry Stan) I will play with the 3-team pack I got for winning my league last year. Of the other $250 I won, $125 was last year's buy-in, so I have $125 to work with this year plus any referral credits I can muster (so far $150 that I know of). As of now I have 4 Q teams, one of which I can't take the credit or blame for. It was the first day or two of Q drafts and I signed up last minute because Ryan C. in the ffoc forum was begging for entries to fill a draft.....I thought I didn't get in....noticed in Round 14 that I did. It's not a horrible team but I have no idea why Matt Jones is ranked so high in the ffoc rankings and found his way onto my team when he's not even in the NFL at the moment. I bought one more Tier 1, so with the 3-pack I have 2 Tier 1's and 2 Tier 2's.....with $10 left. I won't bother posting Q teams here until later when I am dominating the Q bracket. Trying to post my first real team on here but it won't let me paste for some reason....I'll figure it out.